Excess Baggage

It’s just about the end of the year and I am so much lighter than I was going in, in so many ways, having lost a lot of excess baggage.

I am less burdened by the ownership of needless material things.

I had a storage facility room filled with junk that I hadn’t looked at in years.

I’m talking about stuff that used to be in an attic or a basement, moved with every move, without even being opened, until put into storage place after my last move about 4 or 5 years ago. Boxes and boxes of accumulated things, most of which would never be looked at again until I died, and then only to separate the stuff of monetary value and the stuff of no monetary value. But because of a bookkeeping error on my part, I don’t have to think about it anymore, because it was sold in an auction.

I had some photographs from when my father was a student at PS 30. Actually the class photo of first grade, taken in 1925. A friend of mine’s son was starting PS 30, so I gave it to him to give to his kid to give to the school. Perhaps they would appreciate it. He said to me “Oh so altruistic of you”. Months later I noticed that he didn’t give it to his kid, but kept it for himself, put it on his bookshelf. How un-altruistic of him.

The thing about collecting stuff is that it is only exciting before you actually have it. Anticipation is 99% of satisfaction. Once you have it, you don’t look at it, touch it, and think about it any more, it just becomes a collector of dust.
The most joy that I have ever had from material things has always been giving them away.

I had an old advertising picture of an Indian on a horse, beautiful old art work, from an early 1900’s advertisement for some insurance company. One of my friends/partners at the time had expressed that he really liked it so one day I gave it to him. Felt great.

So what do you do with old photographs anyway? My kids haven’t got a clue who all of the dead people in my boxes are anyway (I still have boxes and boxes of more stuff in my attic, I only lost the stuff in the storage place). Sometimes for fun I take a bunch that someone that is still alive might like, and give them to them. I had given a lot of photos to my cousin Bob Tamarin, an attorney here on Staten Island, and he told me who the people were. We sat and talked and laughed.

Want to have a lot of fun? Go to an older relative or friend of yours and ask them to take out their old photos and tell you who everyone is. Both of you will have a great time.

My father was a prolific photographer most of his life. I once had envelopes printed with a picture of a guy under the hood of the old fashioned cameras, with the legend from the camera of Richard Lasher for him to give away his photographs. Used to be you walked into any Judge’s chambers on Staten Island and there would be a wall of my fathers photographs hanging, pictures of the members of the legal community.

Couple of weeks ago I had to go to a funeral in Long Island. I wanted to stay connected, so I brought my lap top with me, the one I used to use to send out these emails. Well I left it in my car the night before we left, forgot to lock the door, and someone stole it. (They also took my gym bag, looked inside, saw that there was nothing in it that they wanted so they left it about 100 feet away, behind my pool. They also left my SIBOR bag that I had the laptop in, and the thing you rest your palms on when typing).

Meanwhile, I had never been to an Italian funeral before. The night before the burial, we all were in the room at the funeral parlor, with the casket, and a priest came, who didn’t know the lady who died (my wife’s Aunt Grace). I was volunteered into saying a few words because they know that I love to speak in public. For some people it’s their worst fear, worse then fear of death. Used to be mine too, until I started the LANDMAX INTERNATIONAL CORP., my land development company "helping the landowner realize the maximum value of his land". When we first started LANDMAX, in 1987, we introduced it to the brokers of Staten Island at a breakfast at the Richmond County Country Club. I had hired someone to be the spokesperson, but after a few questions I had to jump in. I never jumped out. I discovered that I loved public speaking. My partner, Jack, used to sell vacuum cleaners; so he taught me the "tricks of the trade" of public speaking, and I got really good at it. After a while I felt like I was doing standup. We did "dog and pony shows" up and down the North East Coast, promoting the company- Massachusetts, Vermont, New Jersey, upstate New York, Long Island, etc.

Anyway, so the priest said some prayers, and then I stood up in front, and began entertaining the troops, making them laugh and cry, and told all of my personal experiences with “Aunt Grace”. Someone else said a few words, made everyone feel morbid. And that was that for the night. Everyone left.

The next morning, (after hitting the local Starbucks), we came back to the funeral parlor, into the room. Everyone was there from the night before except for the priest. The funeral director read a prayer, and everyone left the room, except for a few of us. Then the funeral director took out his trusty old screw driver-like thing, and started to turn it like you would the knob on a jalousie window, and the body was slowly lowered in the casket. Took a while, was a very eerie feeling. Then he closed the bunting on top of her, closed the cover, and locked it up. Took out a name plate, removed the backing, and stuck it onto the outside of the casket.

Then the casket was put into the hearse, (actually it was a Cadillac. So if it's a Cadillac, can it still be a Hearse? What is a Hearse? Who was Hearse?). Then we all got into our cars, and we followed the funeral director and the casket in the Cadillac, onto the Southern State Parkway, until we were pretty far out in Long Island, when we got off in the direction of the cemetery.

Once at the cemetery, we had to wait in line for our turn. Once it was our turn, we pulled up to this gazebo thing, made out of brick and wood; sort of round, open on most sides, with a closet in the back. We pull up and get out of our cars, the casket is rolled into the center of the area and we sat down or stood up. The funeral director said a prayer, and then we left, left the casket there, got back into our cars, the next funeral took our place at the gazebo, and we drove back onto the Southern State Parkway, went to an Italian Restaurant and had an 7-course meal. (I’m not quite sure which one was the funeral- the night before, or the day of?)
Jewish funerals are not done like this. No wake, you go to the funeral parlor for the funeral. When the service is over, you go to the cemetery, put the casket in the ground, and then people shovel dirt on top to fill up the hole. Then you go back to someone’s house, everyone brings cake, or fruit baskets, your closest people send entire meals, and you eat there for 7 days.

So which is more civilized? 7 days of meals, or eat 7 days worth of food in one shot?

Jon Salmon had an extra computer around; so I loaded it up and thought that I would be back in business. Got myself one of those portable hard drives, called cruiser. I downloaded my email addresses from my home computer, brought it to the office, and downloaded it, and now I had all of my email addresses and I am back in business.
Then I decided that I would move all of my emails, including all of my Lasher’s List emails, to the office computer. Now I am a very organized person. I save all of my emails by category. Lasher’s List land; letters received, my kids, family, surveys, different clients, health and fitness, receipts, cool stuff, legal stuff, etc. Years of emails, totally organized.

Anyway, so I thought that I loaded them onto the Cruiser- the F drive, brought it to the office, tried to download it but nothing. But now I am getting these warnings that they can’t find certain files in the F drive, so I figure out how to delete the data file that had no data.

Then I’m at home again, and I’m trying to move the files, PST not comma separated values (does anyone know what I am talking about?) It asks me where to put them -- in the personal folders? I say 'yes'. (Who am I to argue with Microsoft?). Nothing. But now I have the error notice about it can’t find the personal file on the F drive so I go to delete it like I did the day before, and I deleted all of my emails. Gone. Lost. I looked in the deleted file, not there. I called my friend Jimmy at Stardate Computer Systems Inc who told me that they are gone forever. That there are no hidden secret files where these things go once deleted- they vanish.
So now I don’t know whether to be upset or feel relieved.

I no longer have the burden of worrying about my stored things, nor do I have to pay for their storage.

I no longer have my lap top, but I also no longer have the frustration of the old relic's breaking down and freezing all the time.

And I no longer have all the old emails. They are gone.

But most important, I am a lot lighter than I was at the beginning of the year because I won the weight loss challenge that I told you about three months ago.

Remember I told you that I saw an ad in the supermarket about a weight loss challenge? $35 bucks and the winner gets all.

It turns out that the weight loss challenge was being run by a nice older-than-me couple, Roslyn and Skip, who sell Herbalife. Herbalife is apparently the worlds largest weight loss health company, bigger than Slim Fast, and Optifast, and the others that are around. They claim that their products are the healthiest.
Anyway, a month or two into the diet, I had stopped losing weight. So I figured, let me try this stuff, it solves the age old dilemma called breakfast. Every diet in the world tells you that to lose weight you must eat breakfast. They even say its better to eat a donut then to eat nothing. It has to do with metabolism and all that stuff. But I’m never hungry in the morning, and I'm too lazy to make oatmeal.
So I buy a container of Herbalife, “cookies and cream”, which you are supposed to put in the blender and make a malted milk out of. But I’m lazy, so I just put my two scoops into my coffee mug- and you know what- it’s great and, more important, it’s easy.

The current thinking on weight loss is also that you eat 5 or 6 times per day, smaller meals every 3-4 hours. You can supplement the meals with “protein bars” which I was having a ball buying at the health food store and the supermarket. (Like so-called healthy candy bars!)

Turns out that Herbalife makes a protein bar that has less calories then the best ones on the market, tastes better, more protein, less junk, and is cheaper, so I buy them too. (My favorite is chocolate coconut- like a mounds bar).

So I start eating my breakfast everyday at 8am chock full of protein, my regular food which I make and put into Tupperware things (veggies, fruit, and protein), supplemented by the protein bars. At the end of the 12 weeks, December 6th, I had lost 23 pounds an average of 2 pounds per week, which is the absolute healthiest way to do it.

Pretty Cool.

I lost the largest percentage of weight, and the most weight, but we split the pot 3 ways (not my idea). (2nd place lost 5 pounds, and 3rd place lost 3). My clothes fit great, and on January 1st, I break out the next size down waist pants. Can't wait.

So I am lighter at the end of the year, then I was at the beginning, although I didn’t reach my goal, but now I will set new goals for next year, but that will be a separate email too.

I am going to start my own Weight Loss challenge. $35 bucks to join, winners split, or winner takes all, to be determined. We will start the 4th of January, Monday night, at 7pm, at my office, Salmon Real Estate, 1855 Victory Blvd. Please let me know if interested, and if a different time is better.
Happy holidays to everyone.

……………………………to be continued