Excess Baggage

It’s just about the end of the year and I am so much lighter than I was going in, in so many ways, having lost a lot of excess baggage.

I am less burdened by the ownership of needless material things.

I had a storage facility room filled with junk that I hadn’t looked at in years.

I’m talking about stuff that used to be in an attic or a basement, moved with every move, without even being opened, until put into storage place after my last move about 4 or 5 years ago. Boxes and boxes of accumulated things, most of which would never be looked at again until I died, and then only to separate the stuff of monetary value and the stuff of no monetary value. But because of a bookkeeping error on my part, I don’t have to think about it anymore, because it was sold in an auction.

I had some photographs from when my father was a student at PS 30. Actually the class photo of first grade, taken in 1925. A friend of mine’s son was starting PS 30, so I gave it to him to give to his kid to give to the school. Perhaps they would appreciate it. He said to me “Oh so altruistic of you”. Months later I noticed that he didn’t give it to his kid, but kept it for himself, put it on his bookshelf. How un-altruistic of him.

The thing about collecting stuff is that it is only exciting before you actually have it. Anticipation is 99% of satisfaction. Once you have it, you don’t look at it, touch it, and think about it any more, it just becomes a collector of dust.
The most joy that I have ever had from material things has always been giving them away.

I had an old advertising picture of an Indian on a horse, beautiful old art work, from an early 1900’s advertisement for some insurance company. One of my friends/partners at the time had expressed that he really liked it so one day I gave it to him. Felt great.

So what do you do with old photographs anyway? My kids haven’t got a clue who all of the dead people in my boxes are anyway (I still have boxes and boxes of more stuff in my attic, I only lost the stuff in the storage place). Sometimes for fun I take a bunch that someone that is still alive might like, and give them to them. I had given a lot of photos to my cousin Bob Tamarin, an attorney here on Staten Island, and he told me who the people were. We sat and talked and laughed.

Want to have a lot of fun? Go to an older relative or friend of yours and ask them to take out their old photos and tell you who everyone is. Both of you will have a great time.

My father was a prolific photographer most of his life. I once had envelopes printed with a picture of a guy under the hood of the old fashioned cameras, with the legend from the camera of Richard Lasher for him to give away his photographs. Used to be you walked into any Judge’s chambers on Staten Island and there would be a wall of my fathers photographs hanging, pictures of the members of the legal community.

Couple of weeks ago I had to go to a funeral in Long Island. I wanted to stay connected, so I brought my lap top with me, the one I used to use to send out these emails. Well I left it in my car the night before we left, forgot to lock the door, and someone stole it. (They also took my gym bag, looked inside, saw that there was nothing in it that they wanted so they left it about 100 feet away, behind my pool. They also left my SIBOR bag that I had the laptop in, and the thing you rest your palms on when typing).

Meanwhile, I had never been to an Italian funeral before. The night before the burial, we all were in the room at the funeral parlor, with the casket, and a priest came, who didn’t know the lady who died (my wife’s Aunt Grace). I was volunteered into saying a few words because they know that I love to speak in public. For some people it’s their worst fear, worse then fear of death. Used to be mine too, until I started the LANDMAX INTERNATIONAL CORP., my land development company "helping the landowner realize the maximum value of his land". When we first started LANDMAX, in 1987, we introduced it to the brokers of Staten Island at a breakfast at the Richmond County Country Club. I had hired someone to be the spokesperson, but after a few questions I had to jump in. I never jumped out. I discovered that I loved public speaking. My partner, Jack, used to sell vacuum cleaners; so he taught me the "tricks of the trade" of public speaking, and I got really good at it. After a while I felt like I was doing standup. We did "dog and pony shows" up and down the North East Coast, promoting the company- Massachusetts, Vermont, New Jersey, upstate New York, Long Island, etc.

Anyway, so the priest said some prayers, and then I stood up in front, and began entertaining the troops, making them laugh and cry, and told all of my personal experiences with “Aunt Grace”. Someone else said a few words, made everyone feel morbid. And that was that for the night. Everyone left.

The next morning, (after hitting the local Starbucks), we came back to the funeral parlor, into the room. Everyone was there from the night before except for the priest. The funeral director read a prayer, and everyone left the room, except for a few of us. Then the funeral director took out his trusty old screw driver-like thing, and started to turn it like you would the knob on a jalousie window, and the body was slowly lowered in the casket. Took a while, was a very eerie feeling. Then he closed the bunting on top of her, closed the cover, and locked it up. Took out a name plate, removed the backing, and stuck it onto the outside of the casket.

Then the casket was put into the hearse, (actually it was a Cadillac. So if it's a Cadillac, can it still be a Hearse? What is a Hearse? Who was Hearse?). Then we all got into our cars, and we followed the funeral director and the casket in the Cadillac, onto the Southern State Parkway, until we were pretty far out in Long Island, when we got off in the direction of the cemetery.

Once at the cemetery, we had to wait in line for our turn. Once it was our turn, we pulled up to this gazebo thing, made out of brick and wood; sort of round, open on most sides, with a closet in the back. We pull up and get out of our cars, the casket is rolled into the center of the area and we sat down or stood up. The funeral director said a prayer, and then we left, left the casket there, got back into our cars, the next funeral took our place at the gazebo, and we drove back onto the Southern State Parkway, went to an Italian Restaurant and had an 7-course meal. (I’m not quite sure which one was the funeral- the night before, or the day of?)
Jewish funerals are not done like this. No wake, you go to the funeral parlor for the funeral. When the service is over, you go to the cemetery, put the casket in the ground, and then people shovel dirt on top to fill up the hole. Then you go back to someone’s house, everyone brings cake, or fruit baskets, your closest people send entire meals, and you eat there for 7 days.

So which is more civilized? 7 days of meals, or eat 7 days worth of food in one shot?

Jon Salmon had an extra computer around; so I loaded it up and thought that I would be back in business. Got myself one of those portable hard drives, called cruiser. I downloaded my email addresses from my home computer, brought it to the office, and downloaded it, and now I had all of my email addresses and I am back in business.
Then I decided that I would move all of my emails, including all of my Lasher’s List emails, to the office computer. Now I am a very organized person. I save all of my emails by category. Lasher’s List land; letters received, my kids, family, surveys, different clients, health and fitness, receipts, cool stuff, legal stuff, etc. Years of emails, totally organized.

Anyway, so I thought that I loaded them onto the Cruiser- the F drive, brought it to the office, tried to download it but nothing. But now I am getting these warnings that they can’t find certain files in the F drive, so I figure out how to delete the data file that had no data.

Then I’m at home again, and I’m trying to move the files, PST not comma separated values (does anyone know what I am talking about?) It asks me where to put them -- in the personal folders? I say 'yes'. (Who am I to argue with Microsoft?). Nothing. But now I have the error notice about it can’t find the personal file on the F drive so I go to delete it like I did the day before, and I deleted all of my emails. Gone. Lost. I looked in the deleted file, not there. I called my friend Jimmy at Stardate Computer Systems Inc who told me that they are gone forever. That there are no hidden secret files where these things go once deleted- they vanish.
So now I don’t know whether to be upset or feel relieved.

I no longer have the burden of worrying about my stored things, nor do I have to pay for their storage.

I no longer have my lap top, but I also no longer have the frustration of the old relic's breaking down and freezing all the time.

And I no longer have all the old emails. They are gone.

But most important, I am a lot lighter than I was at the beginning of the year because I won the weight loss challenge that I told you about three months ago.

Remember I told you that I saw an ad in the supermarket about a weight loss challenge? $35 bucks and the winner gets all.

It turns out that the weight loss challenge was being run by a nice older-than-me couple, Roslyn and Skip, who sell Herbalife. Herbalife is apparently the worlds largest weight loss health company, bigger than Slim Fast, and Optifast, and the others that are around. They claim that their products are the healthiest.
Anyway, a month or two into the diet, I had stopped losing weight. So I figured, let me try this stuff, it solves the age old dilemma called breakfast. Every diet in the world tells you that to lose weight you must eat breakfast. They even say its better to eat a donut then to eat nothing. It has to do with metabolism and all that stuff. But I’m never hungry in the morning, and I'm too lazy to make oatmeal.
So I buy a container of Herbalife, “cookies and cream”, which you are supposed to put in the blender and make a malted milk out of. But I’m lazy, so I just put my two scoops into my coffee mug- and you know what- it’s great and, more important, it’s easy.

The current thinking on weight loss is also that you eat 5 or 6 times per day, smaller meals every 3-4 hours. You can supplement the meals with “protein bars” which I was having a ball buying at the health food store and the supermarket. (Like so-called healthy candy bars!)

Turns out that Herbalife makes a protein bar that has less calories then the best ones on the market, tastes better, more protein, less junk, and is cheaper, so I buy them too. (My favorite is chocolate coconut- like a mounds bar).

So I start eating my breakfast everyday at 8am chock full of protein, my regular food which I make and put into Tupperware things (veggies, fruit, and protein), supplemented by the protein bars. At the end of the 12 weeks, December 6th, I had lost 23 pounds an average of 2 pounds per week, which is the absolute healthiest way to do it.

Pretty Cool.

I lost the largest percentage of weight, and the most weight, but we split the pot 3 ways (not my idea). (2nd place lost 5 pounds, and 3rd place lost 3). My clothes fit great, and on January 1st, I break out the next size down waist pants. Can't wait.

So I am lighter at the end of the year, then I was at the beginning, although I didn’t reach my goal, but now I will set new goals for next year, but that will be a separate email too.

I am going to start my own Weight Loss challenge. $35 bucks to join, winners split, or winner takes all, to be determined. We will start the 4th of January, Monday night, at 7pm, at my office, Salmon Real Estate, 1855 Victory Blvd. Please let me know if interested, and if a different time is better.
Happy holidays to everyone.

……………………………to be continued

Solution to the Obesity Crisis .....continued

In my last message, I explained how I came up with a new solution, but I didn’t tell you what the idea was.

The solution to the obesity crisis.

Very simply, Restaurants, Food preparers, McDonalds, General Mills; Proctor and Gamble; Kraft; Dunkin Hines, and Dunkin Donuts, and all of the rest of the people that package and sell foods, as well as the FDA, and the USDA, and everyone else involved in food and nutrition, need to once and for all determine what is a portion.

Ta Da

If you want to lose weight, you might decide to buy your food from Nutri System where they sell you single portions of pre-measured food. Simple. (Worked for Valerie Bertinelli, and Don Shula, and I suppose lots of others.

But why should I have to buy my food from Nutri system to get single portions? Why can’t I buy it anywhere I shop?

Governor Patterson was talking about taxing coke and potato chips. Mayor Mike made them post the calorie counts. They are on the right track.

My solution (or at least the first step) to solving our World Wide Obesity Crisis is:

(drum roll)

Create the “Universal Portion Size”.

And have it make sense.

My personal weight issues go back to the fact that I come from an Eastern European Jewish background where my mother, both grandmothers and great grandmothers always made me finish all of the food on my plate. Years later, after consulting with Dr. Stephen Gullo, the weight loss guru to the rich and famous, “nothing tastes as good as thin,” whose clientele include the nobility of Europe, and even Donald Trump himself- told me that my weight problem is that “I am a finisher.”

So when I go to the supermarket to buy ice cream, I have to figure out how many calories are in the entire container. Not per serving. Because my one serving is the whole thing.

But these days I’m not eating pints of ice cream, I buy these things called QB’s- all natural crispy treat filled with ice cream square little bit of ice cream. (Ice cream wrapped in Rice Krispies 180 calories. QB n. (cube-EE): An all natural cube shaped ice cream treat that satisfies the taste buds and makes you smile.

I also shop at Pathmark. (Whole Foods Market doesn’t sell Snapple (which is all artificial, but remember what Maude said- consistency is not a human trait) and although Whole Foods has a bakery, their cookies just don’t stand up to Pathmark Oatmeal Square Raisin baked in store, 18 to a package, no nutritional information is given). (Squares- and so are the QB’s- did you notice a pattern here?).

Anyway, while I am at Pathmark, generally late at night, I sometimes watch what people are putting into their shopping carts- and I often wonder if the average person knows anything about nutrition, about nutritional information, portion sizes. I watch to see if they read the nutritional information on the packages. I think about the lawsuit blaming McDonalds for the obesity problem because they sell Big Mac’s and supersized fries and coke, which people think are okay portion sizes.

If the government can come up with this Universal Portion Size- then McDonalds can make all their meals to fit it. Instead of supersizing, and making people think that a supersized Triple Big Mac, with supersized fries and a gallon of coke is a single portion.

Unfortunately, our government has different agendas, and sends out mixed messages, and does double ententes. Up until now, special interests has out weighed the common good. Such is the case with the United States Department of Agricultures (USDA) food pyramid which is a major cause of the obesity problem.

When the USDA published their food pyramid, they gave in to special interests, the farmers, and the people who bring us items such as bread and rolls, and said that a healthy person should eat 6-11 portions of bread per day. (3-5 servings of vegetables). (I went to the USDA.gov, and clicked on food pyramid, to get this chart). HELLO- Any body home? Look at this!!!!!!!!!!!!!




One of my healthy life style rules is when the waiter brings the bread basket to the table, is to tell the waiter to take it away. We don’t need 11 servings of bread per day. We don’t need any servings of bread per day. People are fat because they eat too much bread, pasta, and other grain products.

So today’s Solution is that the government gets their act together and fixes the food pyramid.

Then they can make the rule, set the portion size, and have everyone make their products by portion size.

Then I should be able to go to McDonalds and buy a single portion of food, which contains everything that I need nutritionally, and be the right size, amount of calories, contain the right blend of Protein, carbohydrates, fats and grains including green vegetables, and fruits, etc. Enough for one person to eat to sustain themselves for the next 3-4 hours, until they eat another portion.

I can always have the choice to purchase more than one, but let it be a universal portion.

What is so difficult about that?

How about being able to go into an Italian Restaurant and ordering a single portion of pasta with whatever sauce (gravy). A serving which is about the size of my fist.

Good luck.

How about airplane food? Is that the universal portion?

Now a big banana is 2 servings of fruit. I am not suggesting that we have to genetically engineer our fruits and vegetables to be the same sizes.

You can eat all of the green vegetables that you want, can’t you? (as long as they aren’t fried, breaded, or soaked in butter (fat), even though the food pyramid says only 3-5 servings of vegetables per day. Some of the starches are another story (potatoes, corn).

People who eat 5 portions of fruit per day, live longer. (8 grapes is a potion)

Now they are still going to have to sell items in bulk. Sell ice cream by the serving, and by the pint, quart, gallon, but in addition to listing the calories by the serving, also list the calories for the entire package. I mean really, who buys a bag of potato chips or m & m’s which might be “about 3.4 servings” to share anyway? I buy raisins and nuts and it says that there are about 13 servings in the bag. And each serving is about an ounce. But how do you measure an ounce?

And how about cookies? How many servings per individually wrapped cookies- 2.3?

Let’s at least make it easier, give us a fighting chance- and we’ll win the war on obesity.

I have a cousin who is a rocket scientist at NASA (no kidding, Larry Lasher. Larry also put together a family history tracing our family back a couple of hundred years to Russia- very interesting). Although we share a lot of genes, (hair, height, brains, longevity and general health), he got the yy and I got the xx on the weight gene, so we’ve never really had a conversation about reading nutritional information from packages.

But you shouldn’t have to be a rocket scientist to know how to eat healthy.

They, the powers that be, the government, the USDA, Michele Obama, the Board of Education, need to simplify the entire process for everyone, so that everyone, every single person in the world, can know what a single serving of food is, a single meal size, is.

Period. The End.

Another Solution

Hi

The single most important thing that I try to do first every day is prepare my 4 or 5 meals for the day. I start with a big breakfast of oatmeal and a ½ of a banana. Then I cut up some fresh cauliflower; broccoli; fresh fruit; and about a fistful size of different chicken &/or turkey salads, and put them all into a Tupperware container (which I re-use), put them in my lunch box with a couple of Evian bottles of half frozen water (a/k/a ice).

I try to be ecological.

I lived in Amherst Massachusetts for 4 years in the early ‘70’s.. I was a “Nader’s Raider” (Massachusetts Public Interest Research Group (PIRG). Bill Cosby was at U Mass at the same time getting his EED, but that’s a story for a different email. I worked at the Amherst food co-op (100 families who bought their fruits and vegetables together each week); the natural food store called the equinox (where I used to make the trail mixes out of nuts and dried fruits); and I learned to recycle: (we used to separate the glass by color- brown glass, green glass, clear glass). Once you become environmentally conscious you tend to stay that way. These days I still recycle, but now I bring my empty bottles and cans to the processing place behind Pathmark, and give it to one of the people that pick up the bottles on the street for a living. It is one of the ways that I like to give charity. Silently and anonymously (until now I guess).

These days I shop at Whole Foods Market. I bring my own whole foods bag each time. My different bags say things on them like “I used to be a plastic water bottle.” At Whole Foods I buy my fresh fruits, vegetables, and salads for my lunch, (and chicken wings for dinner, but that’s another story).

In the movie Harold & Maude, (which I first saw while I was in Amherst) Maude (Ruth Gordon) is a 79 year old woman and Harold, a rich 17 year old kid share an obsession with death and funerals meet and have a little fling (If this sounds a bit strange, it is, but you should really see the movie if you never have). Anyway, at one point Maude turns Harold on to wine explaining that it has no nutritional value, but stating that “….consistency is not a human trait…”

On some days though, I am not in the mood to make oatmeal. Don’t know why, maybe the banana isn’t ripe enough. Or I just want to get out of the house quicker, whatever the reason.

On these days I go to Starbucks and get the Breakfast Spinach roasted tomato feta with egg Wrap (270 calories) and a triple tall 2% cappuccino w ½ a sweet and low, in my own mug (saves a tree); or sometimes I’ll go to Dunkin Donuts and get fluffy egg whites, peppers, onions, mushrooms and melted reduced–fat cheddar cheese served on a delicious multigrain flatbread (less than 300 calories) I don’t like Dunkin Donuts coffee, so I’ll still go to Starbucks and get a cappuccino or finish the coffee I brought from home; and sometimes I have a Myoplex protein shake, which I buy at the health food store, which is what weight lifters use (not that I will ever be confused with a weight lifter) - protein whey that tastes like an Oreo cookie.

The other day while I was at Whole Foods I saw this new product, a small purple plastic bottle, smaller than a tall coffee cup, called Sambazon Acai5- Antioxidant Superfood. I’ve been getting a lot of junk emails about Acai being this new super food, so I figured I’d try it, and I put it into my shopping basket.

The next day, on my way to work, in the car, I looked at the nutritional information and it said that it was 1.3 servings.

This was this little thing. 1.3 servings.

How can it be 1.3 servings?

I am a fairly educated person. I went to school for the first 25 years of my life I have a doctorates degree. I am into weight loss and nutrition. I always read the nutritional information when I buy things. The only explanation I can think of is that I quickly glanced at the calories (110) per serving, and assumed it was one serving.

Assume nothing: He who assumes makes an ass out of u and me.

But I had good cause to assume- I grabbed this tiny little bottle, in a health food supermarket, thinking, (stupid me) that this was one serving.

Okay, so I drank the whole thing. All 1.3 servings. No bells or alarms went off, and I didn’t feel all that guilty because I drank an extra .3 servings. Being in touch with my feelings I realized that I felt more anger than guilt. Why didn’t they just say that it was one serving and it had 143 calories? I probably would have bought it anyway, but then I wouldn’t have had a subject to write about today.

Because then it dawned on me- another solution !!!!!!!!

……………………… to be continued

The secret to surviving today's world: Drink a lot of water

Due to the economic turmoil, uncertainty, tumult, crisis, recession, depression, obsession, it should not surprise you that many people are having a hard time.

The Financial industry from traders to messengers; the Real Estate Industry (Realtors, Builders, Suppliers & Trades), are all feeling it, and so are the people with whom they do business, and so are the people that they do business with, and on and on and forward and so forth, and the entire world is now in a tail spin.

So how are people dealing with it?

When I am not feeling quite right, I find the best thing to do is to try to get into my daily routine as closely and quickly as possible. (Up at 6am, make breakfast, make lists for the day, drive grand-daughter to school, gym, appointments or office, etc.). In the movie "Oh God," God (George Burns), appears in John Denver’s house, who starts freaking out because God just materialized in his bathroom, and he says he doesn't know what to do, so God tells him to “shave.” When you are lost and confused, do something normal. Same concept.

Getting into your routine is a lot like drinking a lot of water every day. When you drink it, the water has to go through your body, that’s a rule, which turns on all of the process’s involved in digestion, circulation, etc. Not only that, water keeps all the other junk moving too, so there is little chance that stuff will get stuck in your inners. But that’s another story, suffice it to say that it is important to shave, drink water and get into your normal routine.

But really, what I do to get rid of my stress is go to the gym. There I will do some aerobics by going on one of the machines (treadmill, lifecycle, cross trainer, stair master, etc.), and then some weight routines. While I am on the machine, I work on Sudoku Puzzles. Same theory as drinking a lot of water. On the machines, I am exercising my mind and my body. Working up a sweat, and solving puzzles. The whole body is moving, the brain is in action, functioning at its higher levels, and the mind and body are working together in high gear – (By the way- the word Yoga means union of body and mind). So while sweating, thinking, and moving and a grooving, the problem or whatever is dragging down your head comes to the forefront, but only now, it is always much clearer. Instead of being stuck “oh no, whoa is me”- or even worse- “poor me”, your internal A team (or Y team) is able to give you your best shot, and maybe come up with a solution and solve it? Definitely put it into perspective- and help to get you unstuck, and on with your day. (Same probably holds for anything athletic- but try to do something that you do well, or that you enjoy so that you get a sense of satisfaction).

Now there are other things that some people do:

My favorite is Pathmark fresh baked oatmeal raisin cookies (baked in squares like chunky- (remember- open wide for chunky?). They have to be the square ones. Sometimes they make them round, but they aren’t as good. Before you buy them though, you have to squeeze the clear plastic package to make sure that they are still soft. Anyway, you buy a package of these (or two or mix it up with chocolate chips), and eat them. It doesn’t help in getting rid of any of the problems, but they give you a sense of fullness that I can’t seem to find any place else. I’ve been let down by lots of people, lots of time, but never been let down by a good (fresh) box of cookies. (Be sure to drink a lot of water).

Now when I was a young whippersnapper (what the hell is a whippersnapper anyway?), and I found myself in a funk, I would go out and buy a new new shirt. I no longer do that. Firstly because I ran out of money, but the wisdom of my age has taught me that anticipation is 90% of satisfaction, and that once I bought the thing, the thrill was gone. I’ve learned that things really don’t make you happy. (I often get more joy from giving things away, then owning them)- but to those of you who are out there buying shoes or whatever to find some relief I say cest le vie.

There is nothing good that can be said about drugs. Whatever great feeling there may be initially, doesn’t last, and is rarely duplicated. The damage done to your mind and body is not worth it.

Same with alcohol. Lots of people drink to escape. Hey, once in a while, when you don’t to drive, okay. If you can handle one or two and stop, more power to you. (and its fattening).

Of course everyone knows that the biggest problem with alcohol and drugs is that they become bigger problems then whatever you are trying to drown out.

Now some people go for massages. The masseuse finds the places that are blocking the flow of the stuff of life (sometimes called prana) through the passageways throughout your body. (Same concept as drinking water).

Some people find relief in punching holes in walls. Others knock their heads against the wall. Still others like to kick things. Breaking things: (dishes?) or throwing things is another cool way to chill out.

Yelling is a very popular stress reliever. Work your blood up to a boil till you have a heart attack- that will solve your other problems. (When my granddaughter Skylar was about 2 years old, (before she was really talking), I took her out to the garage, and we had a screaming contest. I would yell, and she would yell, and we did long ones and short ones, and high lows, and had a great ole time. (Primal therapy?).

Speaking of little kids, a fantastic de-stressor is getting down on the floor and playing with a toddler. Pick them up, throw them in the air, play silly toddler games. Make faces, stick out your tongue as far as it will go; go to their level. That will bring your problems into perspective for you.

Speaking of being silly, be silly. Get dirty. Jump in the mud, roll in the mud, buy body paint and paint yourself or someone else, go play paint war.

How about singing in the rain?

Nothing can clear your head like diving into an ice cold pool from a diving board, when you are dry.

MAKE A LIST: Things you like about yourself. List of lists that you need to make. What you would do if you hit the lottery. Everything that you have to do. Your GOALS.

Go out disco dancing. Wear tight black clothes. Get sexy, dance and get sweaty.

Go to see someone less fortunate. “I was sad because I had no shoes, until I saw a man who had no feet”

But these days, my absolute favorite, best secret formula for feeling great is writing these emails.

Thanks for listening.